By Steve Brawner, © 2018 by Steve Brawner Communications, Inc.

Jim Hendren and Joyce Elliott come from very different places, which is a big reason why they disagree on many issues including the NFL anthem controversy. But that was OK as they flew together in his small plane to speak about that subject to the Paragould Rotary Club.

How different are their backgrounds? He’s a conservative Republican state senator from Sulphur Springs in Northwest Arkansas. She’s a liberal Democratic state senator from Little Rock. He’s an engineer who owns a plastics company. She’s a retired schoolteacher. He’s the son of a longtime state legislator and nephew of the current governor. She’s the daughter of a single mother who struggled to keep food on the table. He flew F-15 fighter planes, now serves with the Air National Guard, and has deployed several times to the Middle East to fight ISIS. She and her siblings fought their own battle growing up in segregated schools in Willisville in southwestern Arkansas. Soon after forced integration, they were the only black students in an all-white school.

And yet Hendren calls her “one of my best friends in the Senate.” She says, “He’s one of my very best friends as well.”

Given their backgrounds, their differences over the anthem protests are not surprising. To him, the protests insult the flag and those who have shed blood in combat, so he’s boycotting the NFL. To her, the players are calling attention to a societal problem. Sometimes doing so offends people, but she believes the players’ kneeling is a respectful posture.

Such topics would be off limits to many people who want to remain friends. Instead, they’ve taken a different approach. The two tried unsuccessfully last year to create a bipartisan race relations legislative subcommittee, and they had been asked to come to Paragould to discuss that issue. During their recent flight, he suggested they discuss the anthem controversy. They did not shrink from their disagreement during their presentation. But they found common ground agreeing that African-Americans are not always treated the same as white people by law enforcement.

“We wanted to talk about something that is in people’s minds right now, and something on which we have a disagreement, but it hasn’t kept us from working together, even in talking about that, trying to appreciate what the other person feels,” Elliott said.

Their conversations about race really started last year when they agreed about ending Arkansas’ combined celebration of the birthdays of Martin Luther King and Gen. Robert E. Lee. When the bill was considered by the Education Committee, Hendren looked across the table and saw Elliott’s pained reaction to the discussion. He’d recently seen the movie “Hidden Figures” about NASA’s behind-the-scenes black female mathematicians, and the racism they had endured. While he would have voted for the separation regardless, that movie and Elliott’s reaction deepened his determination to push it through the Legislature. He also helped her pass a bill through the Senate requiring a racial impact study for bills affecting felonies and misdemeanors. It failed in the House.

They also have this in common: While only Elliott has been a racial minority, they both have been political minorities. Hendren previously was one of 13 Republicans in the 100-member House. Elliott is one of nine Democrats in the 35-member Senate. His bills back then had no more chance of passing than many of hers do now.

“I sit in Education Committee with her, and I see her bills just getting crushed, but nevertheless she does it with class and with dignity and doesn’t get bitter or mean, so I just have tremendous respect for her, and we enjoy each other,” he said.

The moral is, two different people from different backgrounds can get along, and maybe even get something done, without betraying their principles or pretending they agree about everything – including an issue as raw as the anthem controversy. As Elliott explained, once you get to know a person, you can collaborate and create together. That’s better than merely compromising, where everybody gives up something to get only part of what they want.

In other words, a flight to Paragould might begin with walking a mile in the other person’s shoes.

Related: Blessed is the peacemaker