By Steve Brawner

Christmas gatherings at my parents’ house are not to be missed between the gifts, the fellowship and mom’s desserts. Four years ago, three of us missed it.

Those would be my then-50-year-old self, my then-44-year-old wife, and my daughter, Hope, soon to be born. 

Melissa was due to give birth any day, and we couldn’t chance going into labor on the interstate. We three stayed home while our other daughters, Mattie and Abigail, went without us. They were 18 and 15.

I’ve shared Hope’s birth story before in this space, so here’s the abbreviated version. We spent the first part of 2019 as foster parents taking care of two sisters under two years old. We also sometimes took care of their under-three-year-old sister. We loved those girls, but the baby especially stole our hearts. She started crawling on our floor. 

Maybe those little ones put Melissa into a motherly way. She unexpectedly got pregnant, shocking us all. We named the baby Haven. 

The next few months were a whirlwind. We had a miscarriage. The foster children returned to their birth parents but soon would be permanently removed. They ended up in new homes – the two oldest in one, the baby in another nearby. Melissa unexpectedly got pregnant again, which we greeted with resignation believing another miscarriage would surely follow. In fact, she thought one was happening. But there was a heartbeat at the doctor’s office.

Which brings us to Jan. 10, 2020, when we welcomed Hope into the world.  Continue reading Christmas with hope – and Hope →

By Steve Brawner

© 2023 by Steve Brawner Communications, Inc.

Americans don’t do a good job of celebrating their holidays, including the one happening today.

Christmas has become less about remembering Christ’s birth and more about buying and busyness. Memorial Day is less about honoring the fallen and more about backyard barbecues. Thanksgiving’s purpose is included in its name. We instead often call it “Turkey Day” because of what we might eat.

In all of these holidays, we often become so focused on activities and consumption that we neglect to reflect on what we’re actually celebrating.

Now comes Independence Day, which like Thanksgiving is popularly called another name, the Fourth of July, that obscures the holiday’s purpose. A first-time visitor probably would think Americans shoot fireworks this time of year for some vague patriotic reason. Continue reading Happy Independence Day to those fighting for theirs →

By Steve Brawner, © 2023 by Steve Brawner Communications, Inc.

Christie Erwin has hugged a lot of foster kids, but never while they were in the middle of being interviewed for a short film in hopes of being adopted.

That changed last year when a 15-year-old was asked on camera what was hoped for in a family, responded by saying, “I want to be able to hug somebody,” and then started crying.

Tatum had not been hugged in four years. Erwin, filmmaker Nathan Willis, and the photographer immediately stopped filming and fulfilled the wish, if only for that moment.

Erwin is the founder of Project Zero, which promotes adoptions of foster kids in Arkansas through events where kids mingle with prospective parents, and through those roughly four-minute films. You can watch them at theprojectzero.org. Continue reading ‘Middle Mom’ fights for zero waiting foster kids →

By Steve Brawner, © 2022 by Steve Brawner Communications, Inc.

“Weddy, Daddy?”

That’s what a blue-eyed two-year-old girl was saying to me 18 years ago as we played in the floor together – “weddy” being her pronunciation of “ready.” Now, another blue-eyed two-year-old girl is saying the same thing.

The first is now a 20-year-old woman, and we have a second daughter who’s 17. Today’s two-year-old, Hope, was born Jan. 10, 2020, when her mother was 44 and her dad was a not-very-spry 50. 

Having a third daughter 15 years after the second has been an interesting experience. We are trying to enjoy it more while stressing less. We’d better, because that girl is into everything. I don’t know how the iPad is going to survive. 

As middle-aged parents of a young daughter, we are aware of the need to take care of ourselves. We want to be healthy and active as she grows up, starts her own adult life and eventually gives us grandchildren. Continue reading Never ready to let Hope go →